Are You Always One Problem Away From Happiness?
Life is not a problem to be solved, but a reality to be experienced. Soren Kierkegaard
So many clients tell me that if only one particular thing would happen in their lives, they would be joyful and stress-free. A business owner tells me she just needs to increase her sales to make more money, a writer tells me he just needs to sell his screenplay, and a parent tells me she just needs to get her child into a good college. They all believe that if this one thing happens they will have the key that opens the door on their peace and happiness. Yet when the business owner increases her sales, some of her expenses unexpectedly also increase and there is no extra profit. The writer sells his screenplay, but so far the producers cannot raise the money to make the film. The woman’s child goes to a good college, but now she worries her son won’t find a good job when he graduates. So each of them continue to wait for his or her key to the door to happiness and success in the future when everything, fingers crossed, will finally work out.
I think many of us walk around with a concrete image of what must happen for us to be content. Yet this way of thinking only serves to keep us in the illusion of the future and disappointed in the present. On some level we believe that if we can just solve a few of our problems, then we will be happy and free of stress forever. But we forget that life keeps changing and offering us new opportunities and new challenges. What if, by focusing on the one thing that will bring us future happiness, we are putting off the enjoyment of our lives for a day that never arrives?
So how can we find peace and joy today, wherever we stand? We can cultivate a fundamental understanding that life is not about arriving somewhere but instead is about being here right now (wherever here might be). When we give up this belief that one day it will all work out, we allow ourselves to appreciate what we have. Does it mean we won’t still strive to make it better? Of course not. But we can give up our resistance that nags, “Things are not right” and the illusion of “If I could just get this one thing, then I would be happy.” When we start to accept life as it is, we can start to make peace with our circumstances and possibly find joy in each moment.
DON’T WORRY – with that newfound peace and joy, you won’t be giving up on your dreams or aspirations. Far from it, you will work even more effectively toward the future you’d like to create for yourself. Let’s not forget – MAYBE is always at play!