GIVE YOURSELF A HAND: REACTING LESS TO THE STRESS IN YOUR LIFE

A few days ago I hurt my dominant hand.   It’s not a serious injury, but I have been trying not to use my hand so it can heal. Without the use of my hand, I need to take it very slowly and think about each step in my day, for example, making a morning cup of tea, the process of getting each item in my cart at the food store and typing on the computer with one hand.  I’m sure many people reading this blog who’ve had a physical injury can relate to this experience.   It can be a reminder to be more appreciative of our bodies and show us how to slow down and be more mindful of each activity. The most surprising aspect of this experience for me is that because I am moving slower and I am more mindful of my thoughts and actions, I am also reacting less to the situations around me.

I noticed my softer reaction when my daughter left her winter coat and some wet towels on the bathroom floor and also left the bathroom light on.   Because of my constant awareness of my hand, I was more mindful of how I was moving and feeling when I entered the bathroom.   I noticed a space between my feelings about her mess and my reaction.   Almost a pause that I did not plan.   Normally I would have approached her with an annoyed tone and asked her to go back to the bathroom to clean up her mess and shut the light. But that pause allowed me to be more thoughtful about my reaction.   I immediately realized it was not such a big deal, and I proceeded to think about how to shut the light and pick up the coat and towels with one hand.   I also was able to calmly tell my daughter what she had done and ask her not to do it again. I then entered the kitchen to find a sink filled with dirty dishes.   I gently asked my other daughter and husband to help me in the kitchen to empty the dishwasher and load the dirty dishes from the sink. I had the space within me to make a choice not to get annoyed about the dirty dishes that they had left in the sink all day. Instead, the pause gave me a larger perspective and a greater appreciation for what I really care about.   I had not seen them all day and the pause allowed me to get through the dish issue quickly and enjoy the rest of the afternoon with them both.   I even felt less of a reaction from a conversation with my mother-in-law!

I feel like my injured hand is giving me the experience of what mindfulness does for our lives. That space we develop from mindfulness between how we feel and how we react makes a tremendous difference in our experiences and our interactions with others.   With more mindfulness we can show up for the constant unexpected events throughout our day with more emotional control and not let each event throw us off course.   This leaves more room for us to cope with stress and worry and instead find the calm and joyful moments each day brings.

There are many techniques people use to create mindfulness so they are less stressed and reactive to events and people in their lives.   Here is a simple exercise that you may want to try that is similar to the experience I am having with my hand.   Try to focus on one of your hands and become more aware of how your hand feels, what it touches and how it moves for a few minutes. As you go about your daily chores or go to work, try to keep this awareness of the sensations from your hand.   First you may notice and appreciate all the experiences you were not paying attention to before from moving a piece of paper across your desk to how you hold the phone or a pen, how you type, eat lunch or hug a friend. Even though you are doing different activities and your sole attention is not on your hand, the partial awareness that you draw to your hand will keep you more grounded and present.   As your mind gets consumed with stressful thoughts at home or work, this is the moment when we are most in danger of overreacting to situations like our children not listening, a disagreement with a co-worker or a difficult client. Our uncontrolled reactions can damage our personal and business relationships, as well affect how we feel each day with a rollercoaster of emotions.   But by keeping a partial awareness of your hand, you will continuously bring some of the energy away from your mind and to your body and this will help slow everything down. You will become more mindful of each moment and you may just find that sacred space between how you feel about a situation and how you want to react to it.   This sacred space may help you show up with more ease, patience and kindness for your children, spouse, friends or business associates when you need it most.

You can also use this tool just at the moment you feel your stress escalating.   If you are getting very distracted with worry about the future or you find yourself overreacting or feeling overly uptight, just slowly bring some of your attention to your hand and you will bring some mindfulness to the situation.

I hope you give the exercise a try.   MAYBE the sacred space created by your mindfulness will be a new beginning to show up for your life with more ease and peace and open you to more joy in everyday