So What Is Resilience And Why Is It So Important To Have In Our Daily Lives?

For most of my life when someone told me I needed to be resilient, it made me think about a football player limping back onto the field after a big hit or a marathon runner jogging that last mile in clear physical pain.  If I was to think about resilience in a business setting, I would equate it with suffering through the emotional and physical discomfort of working 18 hour days for weeks to close a transaction. However, over time I have come to see that resilience is not really about digging deep and bearing pain to accomplish a goal, because when we get there we are usually weaker and exhausted, having compromised so much to achieve our goals.

So what is resilience and why is it so important to have in our daily lives? We know life has its stresses and we won’t be able to escape certain conflicts and problems. But we have a choice to either hold on tight, stressing about each situation and holding resentments going forward, or we can cultivate resilience. These days, for me, resilience means no matter what we are experiencing we are always able to use the moment as a new beginning. It is a practice of learning from mistakes, taking responsibility for our actions, and beginning again in each moment without regret. Now that might seem like a tall order, but with this idea of resilience we can let go of all of the stress and worry and not carry it over to the next day. This way we find our way back to balance and the opportunity to approach the next experience with more joy and ease.

Here are a few tips to strengthen your inner resilience muscle and find that joy and freedom in the days to come:

1.  The most important factor in creating resilience is awareness. We must find strategies to recognize when we are stressed and exhausting our ability to carry on with a clear mind. Before you go to sleep at night, try to list the things in your life that are bothering you. If you feel you have an endless list, pick four or five issues that appear to be giving you the most emotional pain. First ask yourself if each one is an issue that can be solved by making a decision, is it a chronic issue that you need to deal with every day or is it something from the past that you can’t let go.

2.  Now try to lessen the burden of each problem with the mindset of Maybe. Here are some Maybe statements to consider: Maybe whatever you are experiencing can turn out better than you are expecting; Maybe your thoughts about the situation are not true; Maybe there is something to learn in this situation that will benefit you; Maybe the situation needs more time to resolve; Maybe you need to leave the situation to begin again or Maybe you are okay no matter how the situation resolves. Exploring these statements may help you gain a larger perspective on the situation so you don’t hold on so tight to your perception of what is happening.  Every moment can be a new beginning filled with hope and possibility if you remember that Maybe is always at play.

3.  Now that you have gained some perspective from your Maybe statements, try to revisit the issues that are bothering you. If a decision needs to be made, recognize that even if you make a “mistake” there will be more choices and opportunities again in the future. Life does not have one lane and usually does not come down to one moment.   Do the best you can to accept your decision and allow yourself the ability to experience what you have chosen while realizing that Maybe is by your side. If it is a chronic issue, there can still be joy in the moment, and possibly healing or resolution over time. Ask yourself what is left to experience in this moment and allow whatever sunlight is around to shine. Truly open to what life has to offer. If the past is holding you back, try to recognize that you have no idea where a different decision in the past would have left you today, Maybe not for the better all. All you know is that you are here in this moment with the hope and possibility that life can be better today.

If we can hold our stresses and worries without such a tight grip, we can build inner resilience and daily crises won’t knock us off our feet. We will maintain the strength through each experience so when opportunities or possibilities come our way we will be alert and ready to embrace them.

As we create more inner resilience, we will see each moment as a new beginning and recognize that Maybe everything is okay!