Do Children Need to Fail to Learn?

There is a real buzz in the media right now about how we need to let our children fail for them to learn how to deal with adversity.  The belief is that if we protect them too much they will not have any experiences to rely on or have any coping skills when they get older.

Although I find the premise interesting, I think it misses one of the most basic points.  What coping skills will they learn from their failures? I know many people that faced a lot of adversity when they were young and now they have a really difficult time dealing with life as an adult.  So maybe it is not as much about our children failing, but more about teaching them a life philosophy that will guide them through anything that they may face in life.

I believe one of the biggest gifts we can give our children is the Philosophy of Maybe.  We can teach our children that for every given situation they face in life there are numerous possibilities of resolution and within those possibilities exists a hope for them that “it could be good” or  “it could get better.”  This way when they get an unexpected poor grade or they did not make a sports team or they have a problem with some friends they will understand the cycle of change is never-ending.  Every outcome offers more possibilities that lie ahead.

It will help them understand that just because something happened that was unexpected or was not their desired outcome, it does not mean that they can’t still accomplish their goals. That is the beauty of Maybe.  It builds an inner system of hope and faith for our children that even though the answer is not clear, it doesn’t mean that they can’t find their way.  It allows our children to explore new territory with the knowledge that Maybe they will find what they are looking for and if they don’t find it immediately, then the next moment brings new possibilities once again.

With Maybe our focus becomes less on failure and more on teaching our children to be possible thinkers.   Lets help our children say MAYBE!