Don’t Despair: Sometimes When Things Look Bad They Turn Out Good

Nathan was about two years from retirement and had his life all mapped out a particular way. He worked in finance for a prestigious law firm in Manhattan. He lived in New Jersey during the week and commuted down to Florida on the weekends to be with his wife, who lived there full time. Nathan was under a lot of pressure at work. He was stressed because the firm was downsizing and reorganizing and he feared his position would change for the worse. He did not sleep well away from his wife and had become overweight from eating out during the days he was away from her and his family. Still, he claimed he had it all under control with his plan until he retired. Due to the economy, many people in Nathan’s department were let go and Nathan was notified that they wanted him to change from a full-time to a part-time position at the firm. This is when Nathan came to me for business advice.

Nathan was so angry that they were changing his role at the firm. His plan was to work full-time until retirement and if he could not have that, he only wanted to leave the company and negotiate a generous severance package. He blamed his boss for mismanaging the situation and he vowed the firm would regret it when he was gone. Nathan had so much blame to go around that, by the end of our first meeting, I had no idea what he wanted out of the situation and neither did he. Finally, after several conversations, I had the opportunity to say, “Nathan, you’re so busy telling your story that things are not going your way that you have never taken the time to figure out what you truly want. Let’s discuss what your life would look like if you agreed to work part time.”

Nathan looked at me as if I were crazy. “My life working part-time?  Well I never thought of it before. It is not what I had planned. I was supposed to work full time until retirement.”

I responded, “Instead of restricting ourselves to the story of how you thought it would be, let’s take the time to figure out what you actually want for your life. So think. How would a part-time position be at the firm?”

Nathan paused, looked out the window for a minute as if seeing something for the first time, then replied, “Well… Maybe I could move down to Florida and work in the Miami office and spend more time with my wife, daughters, and grandkids. Maybe I could play some golf and join some clubs and enjoy my life a little more.”  He added that if he could work part time for a few more years instead of retiring, the money would be nice.

We also talked about him finding another full-time job. But when Nathan really analyzed it, he realized he was ready to work less and be with his family more. He had been so busy telling his full-time job until retirement story that he never realized that part-time work could be good.

The transition process was not easy. The firm’s communication was slow and Nathan kept immediately jumping into blame and mistrust. But in the end he signed an agreement for part-time work. His boss informed him that he could continue working part-time as long as he wants.

Nathan called me the other day. He was poolside with a cool drink in hand on a Wednesday afternoon. He was having a great day with his wife in Florida and he just wanted me to know that the bonus that came from his new part-time work was greater than he ever expected. His golf game was improving and he was enjoying his grandkids. He said, “As long as you don’t say ‘I told you so,’ Allison, this was good.”

Little did Nathan know that the words ‘I told you so’ are not in my vocabulary. How could they be when there’s really no telling where Maybe can lead?

So whatever you are facing today, try to embrace the idea of Maybe and stay open to the change before you.  Who knows, it could be good!!!