Helping Our Children Manage Uncertainty

My daughter and I were recently at a charity function.   I thought it was for a good cause and it seemed like an appropriate venue for my daughter.  At one point in the evening, one of the directors of the charity stood up and started speaking about how horrible he believed things are in the world.   He listed a potential nuclear threat, economic slavery, global warming, water shortages around the world and famine.  He ended his speech by saying we have tough times ahead of us.  I don’t fault this man for his perspective even though I don’t think it is the most effective way to inspire people to give to an organization.  The real problem I had was that as he was speaking, I watched my daughter go from being interested and curious to nervous and worried.   She had watched an intelligent and well-spoken adult tell her that there could be a nuclear war and that tough times were ahead.  She was starting to spiral into panic.

My daughter is thirteen years old and I know I can’t protect her from all of the news in the world or conversations she will hear or be part of in school or at functions like these.  What I can do, however, is offer her a perspective that will give her ground to stand on and strength during moments when she feels uncertain and concerned for the future.  As we walked out of the event I said:

“Sweetheart, you simply cannot allow anybody to cause your mind to spin out of control like that.  This man has a perspective but it does not have to be your perspective.  He has no idea what is going to happen tomorrow and he may be totally wrong.  What the man forgot in his speech is that life always contains Maybe.  Maybe is the hope within uncertainty.  As bad as things may look or feel, there are always the possibilities that Maybe what is happening will turn out to be good, Maybe it will get better or Maybe we can make peace and live with what we are experiencing.  Never give up your hopes to anyone or anything.  It is your right to believe in possibilities and a hopeful future. Also, look at this beautiful weather and this moment we are together!  Let’s not give it up.  Lets be here now and face tomorrow when it comes.”

I watched the blood come back to my daughter’s face.  She could breathe calmly again.

Let’s keep teaching our children about Maybe in every situation so they don’t get stuck in any one moment or any one thought.    Let’s give them a mindset that allows them to persevere through doubt and uncertainty, find a way to be in each moment and hold onto their hopes for a bright future.

I love Maybe!