My client Joan came in the other day, sat down across from me, and immediately said, “What’s so great about the idea of Maybe? I’m miserable. My son is having problems in school, my knee hurts all the time and I’m having financial problems. You want to tell me Maybe this good?” I took a deep breath, studying the worry lines on her forehead. I asked her to tell me exactly what was going on. I listened for about ten minutes until she was able to fully express her feelings. I wasn’t sure she had a full grasp of the idea of Maybe, so we started to discuss the philosophy.
For those of you that are unfamiliar with the Philosophy of Maybe, it simply states that for every situation we face there are numerous possibilities of resolution, and within those possibilities exists a hope that “it could be good,” “it could get better,” or we could find a way to accept the situation we are facing and still be all right. The mindset of Maybe does not judge the moment we are in, but simply recognizes that life keeps changing and within that change exist new possibilities that we could not possibly know in the present. Maybe does not deny that life can have hardships, but instead reminds us that the road of life has more than one lane.
When we embrace Maybe, we realize that some of our suffering in the moment stems from our own projection of what will be in the future. What if my client chose to believe that Maybe her child would improve, Maybe her knee would heal and Maybe she would be financially sound in a year. Would she still suffer to the extent she was suffering today? When we are able shift our negative thoughts about the future to the idea of Maybe, our minds become present and filled with hope. We alleviate so much stress and worry with the realization that things might not turn out as bad as we are projecting.
When I was done explaining the idea of Maybe to Joan she just smiled. She said, “You know, it’s true that a lot of my misery comes from believing that my current circumstances will never change, that my son will always have problems, my knee will always hurt and I’ll always struggle financially. When I think about life changing and Maybe getting better, I feel lighter and more hopeful. The moment doesn’t feel so harsh and unbearable. And even if I have to accept certain things in my life, Maybe I can find some joy and everything can still be okay.”
When Joan was done speaking, she started to cry a little. I asked her, “What’s wrong?” She said, “Nothing. Those were Maybe tears. I just feel so relieved not to feel stuck. I feel hopeful again.”
We smiled at each other across the desk. Even the worry lines in her forehead seemed relieved.
If you would like to use Maybe to bring a little hope into your own life, here is a post that contains a great exercise to engage in the mindset of Maybe.