My daughter often comes to me and asks “what is going to happen?” She asks, “Is global warming going to destroy the earth?”; “Will there be enough food and water to feed all the children around the world?”; “Will there ever be peace on earth?”; and so on and so on. What do we tell our children?
We know the problems they inherit are the problems they will need to solve. How will they approach these problems if we present them with doom and gloom explanations? But how will they approach these problems if we don’t tell them the truth? When dealing with my children, I always try to stick to the philosophy of Maybe.
The philosophy of Maybe simply states that for every given situation we face there are numerous possibilities of resolution and within those possibilities exists a hope that “it could be good” or “it could get better.”
Imagine how much stress and emotional pain our children could avoid by learning to just say “Maybe” to uncertain situations in their lives. We cannot know for certain how a situation will resolve and even when it does resolve, we cannot know if it is indeed a final outcome. Everything is always changing. What seems difficult and unexpected at one moment can lead to something truly amazing in the next. Or sometimes a very difficult situation improves or we adjust to what life has presented to us and we find new possibilities.
The reason the philosophy of Maybe is so effective is that it continuously offers children more than the one possibility that is causing them stress and keeping them up at night. Maybe is a constant reminder to our children that there is hope in the unknown even if they don’t know all the answers in the moment.
Over time, children come to understand that they have a choice. They can sit in the uncertainty with fear, anxiety or total despair or they can realize that there may be a way out, a way forward or another way to look at what is before them. And even if a child’s fears does become reality as fears sometimes do, Maybe will help them see that the next moment brings a chance for something new once again.
With the philosophy of Maybe, our children learn that within the uncertainty of the future endless possibilities exist. Whether they are struggling at school, with friends, health issues or fears of global warming, war or famine, Maybe can be a guiding light every day that allows them to clear their worry and guides them to all that life can offer. Just because things might not go as planned, doesn’t mean that they can’t find another way to solve their problems and achieve their goals. Let’s give our children the skill to live in Maybe and keep open a future filled with hope.
The best part about it — all our children need remember is “Maybe”!