The future ain’t what it used to be. Yogi Berra
This time of year, my younger daughter plays in a basketball league on weekends. It is small league consisting of girls between the ages of 9 and 12. A few weeks ago, I was watching a game and found myself getting uptight about a few plays that my daughter’s team made. I felt this strong wanting for them to win which was causing me to view every move as good or bad on the road to victory or defeat. When I realized the pattern of my thoughts, I was able to pull back for a moment with my breath and start to watch the game with no judgment. Sure I wanted my daughter’s team to win, but I was able to just watch the game with an open mind. I saw the excitement and determination in each girl’s face. I saw interesting moves on both sides and watched the coaches guide their teams. I took joy in the youth and vigor of each young player. It was so fascinating to go from being on a roller coaster of being slightly perturbed, frustrated and excited to an even ease of deeper enjoyment.
So what really happened when I was watching the game? I became mindful of the experience in front of me. One could argue that this was an easy exercise of mindfulness because it was a child’s basketball game with little consequence in the big scheme of my family’s life. Others could say they like the feeling of angst and wanting during a sporting event like a child’s game or a game with their favorite professional sports team. Yet for me it is an interesting exercise of being present and enjoying every moment even though I still preferred a certain outcome.
Wouldn’t it be a relief if we could apply this idea to more important situations such as when our children apply to college or we look for a new job, or hope to meet someone new? Wouldn’t it be great to want certain things and not give up the peace and enjoyment of the moment to stress and worry about the future? Although I was able to become present during the basketball game, when things are really important to me I often need a little more help. I have found this help with the mindset of Maybe. I realized that it was not my goals and hopes taking me out of the moment, but instead my attachment to what each event in my life meant for my future. I have no idea what it means if I don’t get a client or my child does not get into her first choice school. Maybe it is good, Maybe it will get better, Maybe there is something important to learn in front of me or Maybe EVERYTHING IS STILL OKAY. I can hold on to my goals with the realization that life can unfold in so many different ways. If I am so busy judging what this moment means for tomorrow, I will not enjoy my life and stay open to all that can happen from whatever I am experiencing.
So give it try. See if you can shift your perspective like I did at my daughter’s basketball game and enjoy the present without worrying about what it means for the future. Or embrace some Maybe in your life and watch your stress and worry turn into hope and possibility. Either way, enjoy the best gift of life – the present.